Jafree Ozwald | August 15 2012
“Immature love says, “I love because I need you.” Mature love says “I need you because I love you.” ~ Unknown
We all have a variety of ways that we guard and protect ourselves from getting hurt. The fortress built around the heart which protects us from the slightest possible pain, is also what’s blocking the softest sweetest most gentle healing energy from finding its way in. When our inner fortress remains too rigid and strong, it can push away those who are trying to give us love. When this occurs these walls no longer serve our highest good and its vital that we dismantle them. It’s only through dissolving these wounded walls that we can truly relax, lighten up and become receptive again to let in love.
If you were abandoned, dumped, rejected, betrayed or emotionally wounded in any way, you probably have layers of hidden walls protecting you from having to go through that experience again. It would be good to acknowledge how many intimate relationships you have, and how many of them are with the same sex as you, and how many are with the opposite sex. Its important to notice which people you trust the most, and let into see, feel and know your deepest secrets inside. If you have very few intimate relationships, there’s a big chance you are protecting yourself from getting hurt again in an attempt to avoid true emotional intimacy.
Letting down your walls to let in a new love can be terrifying and feel completely wrong. You may feel like you’d rather die than take the chance to get hurt again. Yet with time our past wounds tend to heal all by themselves. Sometimes it can become confusing to know and discriminate when it’s healthy to keep your guard up to protect yourself, or let down your guard to allow real love to come in again. It may feel safer to remain behind closed doors forever, never ever taking the risk to expose yourself to the possibility of getting hurt again. You might believe that nobody will ever come as close to you as how it was with your first love.
It is a natural occurrence to want to retreat back into a healing womb inside ourselves when we are in pain. We may remain there for several months or years to heal a broken heart or lost love. Yet, with time everything heals. Just as it takes the body one week to naturally heal a scratch on your arm, or 6-8 weeks for a broken leg to heal, if you are taking good care of yourself it shouldn’t take more than a year to heal from the deepest most painful emotional wound. However, if you’re not willing to feel your pain, and you’re constantly avoiding intimacy with others, protecting yourself from feeling loved on any level, it could take many years, decades or even an entire lifetime for your heart to truly heal. When the time is right, its important that you take the risk to step out of your emotional cave and give birth to a brand new emotionally available you.
People in long term relationships are necessarily feeling loved. Someone may be married to the same person for 25 years and be hiding continuously behind a fortress of pain. The good news is that the most magical loving relationship that is filled with laughter, joy and deep intimacy is awaiting you! This divine connection is yours to manifest and it will take form when you make the leap to trust in love again. You must trust in the energy of love, how it feels in your heart, and opens you to your soul. The more you can trust in this loving feeling, the sweeter your life will become. When you can truly welcome the feeling of unconditional love into your heart and allow it to touch your innermost being, you’ll understand that there is nothing to be afraid of in this life. You’ll truly be fearless again, like how you were when you were a small child, knowing no limits as to what dreams you could and couldn’t manifest.
Even if you’re already in a great loving relationship today, my invitation for you is to take the risk to let more love in than you ever have before. Step out of whatever emotional cave you’re used to hiding in. Notice if you have any walls protecting your heart and imagine what it may be like to let them down. This is a huge opportunity to experience the most gentle, divine and exquisite experience of life possible. You don’t know what sensations could be waiting for you on the other side. Real love is always there, always knocking at your door, always ready to enter your heart when you are ready to open to it. All you have to do is relax, trust in life, and choose to let love in.
To think about letting in love is of course going to be easier than the actual experience of letting go of the fear of being hurt again and trusting in the experience of feeling loved. There are many ways that we can fool ourselves into thinking that we are trusting in love yet deep down we are still holding onto skepticism and fear. The secret to fully trusting in love comes down to practice, patience and persistence. You have to want to be fearless and vulnerable in order to experience love entering your life again. It is only with a wide open your heart that you’ll transform your entire life, and manifest a relationship where love is honest, true and real for you. Yes, this is possible and if you believe it is, love will carve a path through your walls and into your life in the most magical way. Below are 5 secret steps that will help you take the leap of faith to let love into your heart again and again and again.
1. Make the conscious choice to let down your “Love Guard” – It simply takes sticking to one solid conscious intention to totally transform your life. When you decide that you’re done hiding, protecting, and emotionally defending yourself in any way, you’ll find that everyone in the world is actually a potential lover or friend. When you’re willing to be real with others, people respect that and step forward to be real with you. As long as you have your “love guard” up, you can only show a fake fearful mask to the world, and this is what’s causing your authentic lovable self to remain hidden from you. When you can devote every moment of your day to letting in love, the greatest miracle will happen. You’ll stop being a defensive human being and will be a light of unconditional love and true acceptance towards your partner, family, friends and community. You’ll know your “love guard” has fallen away as you’ll feel a thousand times lighter inside. It’s from this lighter freer space that you’ll naturally create authentic loving relationships throughout your life.
2. Affirm out loud to the Universe that “I am lovable!” - Sometimes we simply need to hear a strong solid convincing voice to speak a truth before we can believe it actually is true. When you state out loud with authentic conviction that you are lovable, this message sinks deeply into your subconscious mind and begins to manifest in your life. To authentically say, “I am lovable” you may first need to understand why you are lovable and I’ll tell you why. When you were born, you were an innocent helpless little baby. You depended on everyone around you to survive. It was because of people’s love for you that you survived and are alive today. Yes, you were lovable from the very beginning and this innocence is still inside you now. All the ego trips or negative attitudes that you may have covered over yourself through the years are not who or what you truly are. You are simply a child born out of love. You were also generated from an orgasm which is one form of love. You are a sweet divine soul who came from love, and thus is always deserving of love.
3. Ask the Universe, God and your Higher Self for help. – If perhaps you are more the intellectual type who thinks you can mentally command your walls to come down to let in love, you may be in for a surprise. If you want to start letting in love yet your walls just won’t budge, you may need to surrender to a higher power and trust that it will protect you, and keep you safe from any future pain. Asking for help signifies that the ego/mind has no power, control or ability to create what it wants. When it comes to real love, total surrender is the only way. It is only through letting go of the mind that surrender actually happens. To truly let in the greatest love, you must let go of using your head and live your life from your heart. A continual surrender is the essential key to start living from the heart which is where you’ll find the source of love.
4. Be willing to vulnerable, naked and rejected. – Trust that you don’t need a fortress around your heart to be safe anymore. Whatever you think is protecting you from the slightest possible pain is actually what’s blocking the softest sweetest most gentle healing love from finding its way inside. The willingness to be a transparent human being is the most courageous act you can do with your life. Be willing to experience whatever level of exposure, nakedness, or rejection that you’re afraid to experience, and you’ll find that what you were really running from was only in your imagination.
5. Totally Surrender to the Source of Love Inside You. – Where is the Source of Love? Is it outside of you or inside of you? Look deep inside yourself, and when you do, notice where is the source of this very moment. This is where you’ll find the source of love. At the very center of your being is a very special experience which you’ve been waiting for your entire life. It’s the most enlightening place you’ll ever discover! Your ego/mind won’t easily admit this because how embarrassing that would be for the ego! It has been relentlessly searching for years for something truly gratifying, and so it doesn’t want to see that an amazing divine love is closer to you than your next breath of air. So for you to honestly find the very source of love right now, the ego/mind has to stop looking “out there” and start relaxing in here. For real joy to enter your life, the ego has to surrender completely to the source of love right now. This comes not from a place of losing or being defeated, but from a higher more enlightened perspective where you can finally relax and truly come home.