Is it possible for two people to see and hear the same event and yet each have a totally different perspective of what actually took place? Everything we see, hear or feel is processed and interpreted according to our past experiences. Being that all of us have different past experiences, we all have different versions as to what actually happened.

Don’t Assume

Because most people don’t always say what they think or think what they say, the only way we can truly know what they are implying, is not by assuming that we understand their meaning, but by actually asking them straight out what they are implying. Many conflicts are based on misunderstandings and jumping to conclusions before inquiring about the perception and experience of the other person.

I suggest to couples that instead of going into blame mode, try and understand how the other person sees the situation and how they have reached their particular conclusions. Continue reading →