worthiness

5 Tips To Help You Recover From Perfectionism

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Lissa Rankin MD – Perfectionism can be a real joy killer. If I had been too afraid to appear imperfect, I might have stayed in two unhappy marriages or kept a job that was sucking the life out of me.

perfectionismPerfectionism can also be a barrier to intimacy, as well as a potent form of self-sabotage. If I had been committed to trying to give a perfect performance in front of a live studio audience, for example, I might have missed the chance to giggle and connect with the audience the way I did when I flubbed up my words and exposed my imperfections. They might have wrongly assumed that I had it all together, when the honest truth was that I was terrified to be doing something so far outside of my comfort zone.

But, as soon as I let go of the expectation of perfection in myself, my whole body relaxed. I could be imperfect! And I would still be good enough…

I realize that’s what it really comes down to. When I’m too focused on being perfect, it’s usually because, deep in the shadows lies a basic lack of worthiness. Some part of me thinks that, if only I overdeliver, I’ll finally be good enough.

But beneath that shadowy part of myself lies something deeper, something more true, something I call my Inner Pilot Light, and that part of me know that I am – and YOU are – inherently worthy simply because we all have sparks of Divinity within us, and we don’t have to prove anything in order to earn that worth.

Excellence Or Perfectionism?

I notice in myself this struggle between the quest for excellence and the tug of perfectionism. Where is the line? How much striving for excellence is noble versus how much is just ego, rearing its overfluffed head? Continue reading →

Worthiness – A Key To Emotional Healing

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WorthinessNanice Ellis – Did you know that virtually every emotional wound is intertwined with issues of worthiness? In fact, feelings of unworthiness keep us from creating the lives we most desire. In order to heal our emotional wounds and consciously create, we must conquer our fears of unworthiness, but in order to do this, we must first understand why we are programmed to feel unworthy.

Like most “subconscious programs” the Worthiness Program is often passed down, unknowingly from our caretakers, but even, on the rare chance, that you did not inherit this program, by the time you are in first grade, the program officially begins.

On day one of first grade, we are taught that there is right and wrong, deserving and non-deserving, and passing and failing, all adding up to either worthy or not worthy. Year after year, with every test and evaluation, we must prove our worth. But not just worthy to move on to the next lesson, the next grade or to graduation, we are asked to prove that we are worthy of approval, acknowledgment, appreciation and even love.

If we do what we are told and we fit in with the group dynamic, we receive rewards and our emotional needs are met. However, if we think for ourselves, and we do not fit in, no rewards come; leaving us feeling emotionally punished by disapproval, disappointment and the withholding of love by those in authority. In other words, we are deemed unworthy.

Society teaches us that worthiness is directly connected to our future and ongoing success in the world. Therefore, we must possess worthiness in order to have purpose, make money, and attract a life partner; just as being poor, having no partner, or no direction in life directly relates to unworthiness. Continue reading →