Through all the self-empowerment and new age confirmations and affirmations for the last 30 years or so, it seems like we are still struggling with that fact. Maybe they weren’t that good, eh?

So maybe the solution to this is, taking the understanding of that down at an intellectual level and go for the: feel. I think that is the matrix in it.

We can stand in front of any mirror this world has to offer and tell our reflection: “You are way cooler that you think” until we kick the affirmation bucket. It won’t change a thing. Since it’s an intellectual statement and we are addressing a reflection of us, not the source in us.

It has to ripple and flush through the emotional nervous system like a tidal wave and self-perception will change.

Maybe the more sober version would be: “I´m packed with issues in my burden basket, but still in spite of my self perceived flaws, I´m way cooler than I think and eventually I will prevail”.

The Tao says: “In times of confusion-lower your ambitions”.

Very clever Tao, it took me some time to understand it, since I don’t see ambition of evolution as a bad thing, but if we don’t know where we´re going it might be a good idea to drive a little slower so we don’t get real lost.

If there is such a thing as lost.

Sometimes we need to go so low inside that there only are two options: Departure or rise from the pits and the realms of the weary night of the soul.

I would recommend the Rising.

There’s a season for growth and there’s a season for rest. Nature follows that eternal rhythm, why don’t we accept it? That acceptance being embedded in the Tao mentioned.

It’s a very delicate synchronistic dance between the intellect trying to decipher the metaphysic of life and the “feel” of one self in life.

Yesterday, writing about the Morph I got quite a few mails saying: I can never do that. I want to, but it’s only for the special. OK, what else do you see in this world “Only for the Special” – a Matrix Mindset, to keep you away from what you would like to manifest. Playing the Saxophone? Writing a book? Being happy?

Nothing in this world is for The Chosen Ones. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

But you got to rise to the occasion.

You got to use your drive and thrive for it.

The only thing that’s really holding you down is more or less buried under a rub of self-doubt. If that’s the matrix, go back in time and pick yourself up where you didn’t have that.

Before the self doubt conditioning kicked in.

Having doubt in our own abilities is in a way healthy, since it takes the grandeur of the equation. But letting the doubt take over the vehicle of transportation into self-realization in whatever field you’re going for is really the matrix of not taking responsibility for your longings and the right to prevail in whatever you would fancy.

Doubt can be a spiritual excuse for not taking responsibility.

Fine balance on the razor sharp edge of ego versus surrender. But, nobody can lose his or her ego overnight, since desire is a powerful tool to get what you want:

A healthy self-perception without the savior syndrome.
The partner you want in your love life.
The job you would like.
The job you don’t like and want to abort.
A succcesful business.
And so on….

I just came in from sitting outside with my morning coffee. This brand new blackbird touched down on my small wooden table and just looked at me.

Since it just flew from the nest, it had no concept of: man equals danger. Why would it?

It sat down and shared the moment with some morning bread and me until its parents noticed what was going on and put up Death Con 4 alert and it took off.

We shared a fragile moment there. Maybe the only moment that bird would have close to: Man.

We got to go for those cracks in the uncertainty Matrix and beautiful manifestations happen.

The blackbird didn’t think.
I didn’t think.

It was a feel.

We are: The feel. The big feel. The Big Blue.

And creepy emotions of inferior issues run like poisoned Nightshade up peoples legs and drags them down into the cold grave of unfulfilled aspirations, longings, wantings and desires.

The only thing that can rise from that grave is a zombie like state of mind of not worthiness.

The “only” thing that raises from the void of self-doubt brought to the point of critical mass is:

I am like all of you an embodiment of all possibilities connected, potential realized and a fellow traveller. Maybe still struggling, however.

But the mere fact that we are struggling holds a promise of our new dawn.

Come to the feel. Seems like a safe place to land. Blackbirds included.

© 2013 Soren Dreier