Jennifer Hoffman – Every time I hear the phrase ‘they are not being authentic’ or ‘find your authentic self’ it makes me want to cringe because that is simply a misuse of that word and phrase.
No matter how someone behaves or acts they are always being authentic – with themselves. Although they are not aligned with our energy boundaries and priorities that doesn’t make them inauthentic. But there’s another aspect to this that is an energy drain for us and it’s the amount of time, energy, and effort that we’re expending judging and criticizing people we think are being inauthentic, which drains our energy resources and distracts our attention and focus from our own life path.
When people engage in behavior we don’t like we can respond by being angry, frustrated, annoyed, critical, judgmental, shaming, and hope that they will see the error of their ways and change. Then we talk and help and push and try to get them to behave in ways that we find acceptable o r that we can work with. We justify this by saying they are being inauthentic – which is incorrect. There is nothing inauthentic about their behavior at all. In fact, they are being very authentic – with themselves.
The concept of being authentic has been interpreted to be something good and wonderful. People are being authentic when they are up to great things, being wonderful, kind, compassionate, supportive, and loving. And that is true, if those things are part of their nature. But here is the flip side of that – people are also being authentic when they are mean, cruel, unkind, thoughtless, and disrespectful because they are also acting within their true nature.
We have to stop judging all behavior by a divine standard because there is no divine standard for behavior and judging others is a waste of our time, energy, and effort. The energy we are using to be annoyed and irritated by what we call their ‘inauthentic’ behavior is time, energy, and effort that we are not using in our own lives.
As you will learn in this week’s podcast, use acceptance instead of judgment and criticism. Stop worrying about whether someone is being authentic or not because that is a non-issue. Everyone is authentic with themselves 100% of the time. Whether their authentic self aligns with our energy boundaries and priorities is another topic entirely. We can’t change their behavior but we can decide what we want in our lives and plan accordingly.
So rather than using your energy to judge whether someone is being authentic or looking for your ‘authentic’ self, see everyone, and you, as being 100% authentically who they are in this moment. Then if you don’t like what someone else is doing, it’s time to reconsider that connection. And if you don’t like what is going on in your life, it’s time to re-vibe your life, change your frequency, set new intentions, jazz up your energy boundaries, and change that path for yourself.
Copyright (c) 2019 by Jennifer Hoffman. All rights reserved.
SF Source Enlightening Life Jul 2019